or his lovely jacket
OR HIS WATCH
AND HERE I THOUGHT HE WAS BUYING HIS CLOTHES IN TESCO
maybe he’s the pimp of london
Maybe he is a great thrift store shopper
Maybe Sherlock is his sugar daddy
What do you mean “maybe”, he basically gave him his credit card and said go wild
1 follower = egg
10-40 followers = hatchling
50-99 followers = baby dragon
100-349 followers = dragon
350-500 followers = still a dragon
501-799 followers = mega dragon
800- 4,999 followers = super hella dragon
5000+ followers = UNHOLY OFFSPRING OF LIGHTNING AND DEATH
These are the legit numbers.
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be keptinterested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Happy International Women’s Day
This is so beautiful. I almost cried.
This just touched me so deeply I can’t even.
Okay, I’m old as hell and I still really needed to read this.
If you see something like this, DO NOT CALL AN EXTERMINATOR!
Call a beekeeper, they can relocate the hive instead of killing them. Bees are dying at an alarming rate, please do not contribute to that! They are so important for our ecosystem!
yo fuck this i aint gonna call no beekeeper i’m moving before i’m dead
I’m going to call an exterminator so the exterminator can kill them. I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that there are less bees in the world.
No bees = no food.
No food = no life.
Congratulations on destroying the world.
Because you seem to not understand that bees pollinate flowers and literally bees are the reason we have food.
Did you guys even watch bee movie
you really really must call a bee keeper!
My family’s house had it’s entire attic taken over by bees one year. They slowly started appearing in the house, and then they were everywhere. We called a bee keeper, and he removed what he said was the largest domestic honeycomb/bee nest he’d ever seen. I was so terrified I’d gone to stay with a friend. My folks called me to meet the bee keeper, and he led me on the most magical journey through the house. He explained the bees were harmless if you move calmly through them and don’t swat at or harass them. He was only stung once because he accidentally put his hand down and smooshed one. The bees landed on me, walked a bit, then buzzed away. All honey combs and bees were safely removed and relocated. Call a bee keeper, they are awesome!
Reasons why im a bad friend:
• i get too attached
• i will complain about all my problems to you
• i will snap at you by accident one day, causing you to hate me
• i need to be reassured
periodicallyCONSTANTLY that you dont think im annoying
• i am annoying
• im boring
• i dont know how to keep the conversation going
• i get emotional after midnight and will probably tell you something that could make you think differently of me
WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
THIS IS LIKE JARVIS.
A REAL JARVIS EXCEPT HE’S A CLOCK.